Hairbows and Sparkly Shoes

" The moment your child takes its first breath is the very same moment you realize you can never breath again without them." -A.B.



Three years ago today I walked into a hospital room and prepared myself to give birth to my first child. It was a long and difficult delivery, one that ended in a C-section, a 10 day stay in the hospital, a second surgery, and lots and lots of IV antibiotics. It was one of those things that you cant prepare yourself for. No book tells you about it, there is no class for it, its just one of those freak things that happens. Its actually kind of funny the kind of reactions I get when I share my "labor and delivery story" at mommy groups or baby showers or just in general conversation. The most common response I get from it is "Oh you poor thing." but the funny thing is, I dont feel like a "poor thing" at all. In fact it is quite the opposite.....

If I never went through what I did then I would have never felt that deep undying love that only a mother feels for her child. I would have never know what it was like to hold my little girl in my arms and know that she was a part of me. I would have never known what it was like to work side by side with God in creating something wonderful, something so unique that there is no one or nothing in this world like her. I would have never had those "scary" first time mom moments where you never really know if what you are doing is the right thing. I would have never had sleepless nights, or late night visits to the emergency room for silly things like the hiccups (and yes that really happened). I would have never watched my husband become the most amazing father I have ever seen and fall in love with him all over again. I would have never had tea parties, or dress up parties or baked heart shaped muffins. I would have never bought anything and everything that I could get my hands on that was PINK. I would have never spent a small fortune on hairbows and sparkly shoes. I would have never been brought to tears by the simplist thing as a stroke across my face from a little hand at bedtime or the muttering of the words " I luf you mommy." I would never have the chance to make up silly songs about princesses and ladybugs and I certainly would not have searched the world over to find that perfect tutu for that perfect picture.

If I had never gone through what I went through then I would not have Reagan... and it is because of that, that I would do it all over again... because there isn't anything I wouldn't do to have Reagan as my daughter.

Happy 3rd Birthday Reagan!

I love you more than you will ever know.