In a Funk

It's 11pm Sunday night and I cannot sleep...usually sleep comes very easily for me as I am pretty much exhausted all the time after chasing around my two rugrats, but not tonight. My mind is racing with a million thoughts, some are justifiable but others are silly things that I have no control over. I have just kind of been in a funk lately and I am not really sure why. I find myself worrying a lot... most of the time about things I cant control or that don't really warrant worrying. I guess I am just a worrier (if that is even a word). Mostly its things about my kids, and sometimes, most of the time, I worry for a minute and then move on with my day but lately I have been harping on things for days, only to make myself all upset when there isn't really anything I can do about it.

I am constantly setting this standard for myself that is just unrealistic and I am constantly having to remind myself that I cant be everything to everyone and do everything. I wish I could. I wish I was one of those women that could do it all but unfortunately I fall short, almost all of the time, and I know that's ok but I cant seem to give myself a break for it.

Being a mom is the greatest thing I have ever done in my life... I cannot imagine doing anything else, but it is also the hardest thing I have ever done. I guess maybe because this is all I have ever wanted to do I feel like its my responsibility to be the best that I can be.... and although I think I do a pretty good job I cant help but worry that I will fail my children in some way. That I wont teach them the proper skills to be successful in this harsh world they are growing up in. I think I just get overwhelmed by the big picture, that what I do with these precious angels everyday with mold and shape the people that they become... and that's huge...so huge that it scares me and then I worry...and this vicious cycle starts over and over and over again in my head.

No wonder I cant sleep....

Bitten

Reagan came home from school today...told me she had a good day and wanted to change into a new dress (her new thing is dresses...no matter how cold it happens to be that day, she wants to wear a dress) so i take off the shirt she was wearing to find a circular bite mark about two inches above her nipple. When I asked her if someone bit her hse said "uh hu it was An--- (a little boy in her class). Needless to say I was a little upset because last week she came home with a bite mark on her hand and I will give you one guess who did it... thats right, An---. I called the school to let her teachers know. They told me it would be addressed next week (like the kid is going to remember what happened by next week) but I dont really know what to do about it. Stephen wants to teach her to "punch the kid in the face" but I dont think getting her and the little boy expelled will do anyone any good. Unfortunatly Reagan is such a tough cookie that she obviously doesnt cry or go running to the teacher to tattle so who knows how many other times she has been bitten or hit and the other child has gotten away with it. I dont want her to be a tattle tale but I do want her to take care of herself. Oh what to do.... I dont think I will be leaving Reagan alone with Stephen any time this weekend or I will be getting a phone call from the school next week.

Brody's 9 month pictures

I am one of those annoying people that has their childs picture taken every 3 months in the first year. They just change so much I never let an opportunity pass me by to not have their picture made (plus when they get like Reagan they refuse to even look at the camera so I take full advantage) A good friend of min Heidi took these and does a great job. Check out her website at www.hnmphotography.com She's awesome!!! I am a few months behind on posting these as he just turned 11 months so I will be posting 1 year ones soon. =)

Pictures by HNM Photography

I am joining a nudist colony

Just kidding... sort of. I actually could never walk around naked so I could never really go to a nudist colony but I have decided that I HATE CLOTHES. Not in the literal sense... I do like having clothes on my body I just hate buying them.

Today I had a babysitter for FIVE glorious hours to do whatever I wanted. I didnt really want to go shopping but my friends are probably tired of seeing me in the same three shirts so I decided it was time to go shopping for myself. It was horrible... nothing fits me right, its either to loose or too tight, too long or too short, too low cut or too fancy... and if it wasnt any of the things I just mentioned I couldnt figure out how to wear it. Clothes have changed since I las bought them I guess because I felt like I didnt know how to wear anything. Not to mention that most of it was impractical. I roll around the floor with my kids all day... I dont need anything fancy for that... I just need things that fit but I also dont want to feel like a frumpy old mom all day either.

I even had a nice sales clerk help me. I told her my dilema, that for the past few years I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding and so I basically needed a whole new wardrobe. She was very helpful, she pulled probably fifty things and put them in the dressing room... I left with 3 things, 2 of which I will probably take back because I felt kind of obligated to buy since she was being so helpful. I am left feeling frustrated and defeated, like whats the point, I will just wear my pajamas for the next 4 years until my kids start school. Why cant moms just have a uniform... jeans and a tshirt that says "i am a mom" on it, then we would all have an excuse to look the same, we wouldnt have to worry about what to wear that day and we wouldnt have to shop for clothes, we cuold just buy 10 "I am a mom" shirts and be done with it. Of course then there would be the moms that added rindstones to theirs and then it would turn into a "how fashionable can your I am a mom shirt be" Anyway, sorry my rant is over. I guess I will try again next week.

This is what happens when you turn your back on an 11 month old for literally 3 minutes....

Only Grandma

I am a fairly creative person... I am crafty, but I am not one of those people that can create things free-handed. My mom, however, is. She has always been able to just free-hand things like school projects, signs, church bulletins etc. When I was a kid I remember my mom making pancakes in all sorts of animals... she could just poor the pancake batter in ways that made the perfect butterfly or dinosaur. I cant even make Mickey Mouse look good. If I want to make my kids animal pancakes I make a circle and use one of many cookie cutters and cut it out. This weekend my mom made Reagan and Brody these cute pancakes ... the only problem: Reagan didnt want to eat the butterfly so she ate a circle pancake instead =)
A butterfly

A dinosaur and a fish

Why is it that food is just so much more fun to eat when it is shaped like something?

My Mom's Coming

I dont know what it is about my mom coming but I always feel like a kid at Christmas. I love when she comes. She will be here tomorrow afternoon. Yay!!!!
* This picture is old... I was 9months pregnant with Reagan but it was the only one I could find quickly in my computer

You know your out of shape when...

Your arm is sore from turning the screw driver around and around while putting the entertainment center together. Geez... I'm pathetic... whats even more pathetic is that I didnt think to get the drill that was sitting in the garage... I will be so happy when this basement renovation is done.

Brody's First Haircut

I have been avoiding posting this because it was quite a point of contention between Stephen and I. I took Brody for his first haircut back in February and made the big mistake of not telling Stephen I was doing it. Let me just start by saying that Stephen as a little boy had very curly blonde hair. His mom kept it a little longer because of the curls and it was really cute on him.... I however am not a huge fan of little boys with long curly hair (when I say long I dont really mean LONG, I just like boys hair to be short) We have discovered that Brody has Stephens curly hair but because of the way it was growing he was getting sort of a mullett and it was not cute. Plus he is so young that its not like I can put hair gel in it or anything so it was always looking kind of nappy and crazy. So while we were out running errands I stopped in and had it cut. Had I realized that Stephen wanted so much input in our kids hair styles I would have thought to tell him I was taking Brody but I never realized it would cause such a comotion. Anyway... its all fine and I think Brody looked so handsom with his new haircut... I am just trying to figure out how I will get him another one =)


Such a handsome little guy.

He had fallen asleep in the car so he looks a little drugged here.

He sat so still through the whole thing (not surprising since he seems to be my mellow child)

Art Time

This is why we dont do much painting.

Reagan likes to use her body as the canvas.

Haven't we done this before???

Poor Brody has already faced several challenges in his short life and today was another hill to climb. When Brody was born he had blocked tear ducts... something very common in lots of babies. It basically makes for goopy wattery eyes all the time. Most of the time it clears up in the first 6 months but if it doesnt and you ignore it then it can do permanant damage to his tear ducts. Of course Brody's never cleared up so this morning we went down the Childrens Healthcare of Atlanta at the crack of dawn to have his surgery.
The surgery lasted literally 4 minutes and he was back in the room with us and it took about another 10 for him to wake up from the anestesia. We were back hame before 9am this morning and Brody is doing fine. His eyes should be all clear in the next week or so. Not really a fun morning but I am glad its over with.


Not a happy camper in his little hospital gown.

This is starting to feel like a reoccuring look for me.

Meet Fishy Fish

Stephen has been wanting to get Reagan a fish for a while but I kept saying that would be her reward for when she finally potty trained and surprisingly I stuck to my guns on this one. So, she had a great week last week with going potty, even at school, and so this weekend was finally time to get that coveted fish... complete with Ariel fish tank.

Here he is (assuming that it is a he), Fishy Fish. Named and picked out completely by Reagan. She loves feeding him every morning and she kisses the fish tank all the time and says "I give my Fishy Fish a kiss."

Project Mancave

Remember how quickly Stephen executed the project for the new playroom?? (See previous posts titled Chaos if you dont know what I am talking about)... well this would be the real reason...

Now construction on his new basement can begin and boy did it ever. What was once a fully finished basement is now a disaster area. We are knocking out a whole wall and adding a major support system (since its a load bearing wall). There is a plan in place...lets see how fast this one gets done. Project "Mancave" is in full swing.

Craziness!!!!

I am an Addict

I am not big on New Years resolutions... I think they are pretty dumb and generally dont make them because they almost always get broken. This year I was going to try and give up Diet Coke (ok so I told myself I was going to but I dont think I really wanted to so really I knew that it was all just a dumb idea) but I said it anyway just for the sake of having a resolution I guess.

Well when the new year started I just hapen to have 2 full cases of Diet Coke in my fridge so I decided that I would wait until those were gone and then I would give it up. Magically those two cases keep refilling themselves every week and so unfortunately I have not yet given up Diet Coke. So seeing as how it is already March it seems a little late to start a New Years resolution. Oh well I guess there is always next year right? What can I say... I am a Diet Coke addict.

Snow much fun

Well we finally got some snow this weekend. Actually Jackson county (where we live) got it the worst in GA next to Athens. We had about 7 inches which was crazy considering I took my kids to the park on Thursday. The weather channel kept saying it was going to snow but I didnt believe it since we have heard about "snow" like 10 times this winter and it has never happenend. But sure enough at about 1:00pm on Sunday it started snowing and by about 3:00 this is what had accumulated. It went on to snow for about 6 more hours. We had the biggest snowflakes I think I have ever seen. It looked like cotton balls coming out of the sky. Reagan had a ball playing in it and thank goodness my neighbor had some old snowpants and boots that were just Reagans size.
This was about 2 hours after it started...everything was A LOT whiter right before we went to bed but it was to dark to take a good picture.

Reagan was more interested in eating the snow than playing in it.

Brody: as soon as I sat him down he fell over because he was so bundled up. I had to prop him up on a mound of snow to get a picture.

You can see the crazy big snowflakes in the background.

Brody didnt really "play" in the snow, Stephen just held him since he had so many clothes on he couldnt move anyway. Our pitiful excuse for a snowman (Reagan was so cold at this point)

*** On a potty training note: I am happy to say that Reagan has AMAZED me through this whole process. She is already taking herself to the potty without me having to ask her or anything. Yesterday I went upstairs to put Brody down for a nap and when I came downstairs she was sitting on the potty all by herself. She hasnt had an accident in 3 days and she has only had 3 total since we started this process last Thursday.